Posts tagged "Teacher"

Do you have any problems before I fail you on your next test?

I don’t get mad, I get even.


  • Teacher: The question is what happens to that hydrogen ion (long pause).
  • Student: What happens?
  • Teacher: I'm glad you asked that question.

Terminate with extreme prejudice. Translation: I’m going to kill you.

If you want to go around smelling like Raid, go ahead.
After being slapped from asking the perfume of a woman who caused his allergic reaction.

The most simplistic organisms would be bacteria cells and the most complex organisms would be bacteria cells.
On what life would be like without photosynthesis

I can go onto Google Maps and point out exactly where my syrup comes from. Just like I can go onto Google Maps and point out exactly where my honey comes from.

Pigments are the little white tablets you use to freshen your pig’s breath with.

He went to Harvard, then saw the errors of his ways and went to Cornell.
Talking about his alma mater 

I’d tell you what I really think about the public school system, but I’m not allowed to use that kind of language in the classroom.

  • Teacher: The scary thing was I was still on speaking terms with that professor.
  • Student: What happened?
  • Teacher: She was diagnosed with cancer.


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